You know, most of the time I don't really realize I'm a mother. One of those strange creatures that have given birth and have some of their genetic material out there in the world as a living, breathing person. Cool, eh? Then there's times like this morning that I realize that yes, I'm a mom, and my daughter is growing up so so quickly.

Sara stays with me every Thursday night, and I walk her to school every Friday morning. Most of the time it's a chance for us to have a good talk about anything and everything. It's our routine. Today was the usual stuff until we got to the first crossing guard.

On the other side of the street was a classmate of Sara's, walking alone. Sara hollered across "Hey! Want to walk with us?" and the little girl said yes. We walked together for a few meters until my mouth operated before my brain could think and said "You know what? You two can finish the walk together without me, couldn't you? You'd be fine?". Of course they were, and off they skipped, chattering away leaving me standing there thinking "What did I just do? OMG. NO!"

I wasn't worried that some unseen danger was going to run away with my child, or anything practical like that. No, I had suddenly realized that I had just very quickly acknowledged that my baby girl was old enough to walk (part of the way) to school without me. Without pre-planning, without conscious thought.

Who would've thought that it would be harder to be ok with Sara walking a block to school without me than it was to leave her at school on the first day of Kindergarten. Wow.

So I hid behind a hedge, and watched my daughter walk with her classmate to school. She never looked back, never worried, and looked like she thought it was great. This is a good thing, this is what I want my daughter to have. Yay!

My baby is growing up, and man, does that make me sad.