what to say.

Mike called me at about 9:30 yesterday morning and told me to turn on the TV. About 30 min later Sara's Dad did as well. I watched CNN for about 12 hours. I don't think any of this is quite real to me, it's just too big. But what is real to me is watching bloodlust and hate spread like wildfire.

Muslims in my city, nice polite Waterloo, are getting threats. Women in head scarves are being called "fucking terrorists" to their faces. Dear god people! There has been no conclusive proof of who did this. Lots of name tossing, and speculation but no fucking proof. Watching those buildings crumble didn't create any feeling in me (too big), but this hate makes me cry.

I admit freely I'm a bleeding heart liberal, and a devout pacifist. So my views on these cries of War are decidedly coloured by my standpoint. I am disgusted, and sick at reading over and over again these statements of "Kill the Arabs!" "Drop a nuke and wipe out the fuckers" and my personal favorite, "we call for that country's complete destruction and annihilation." from Coffeecup software.

This is bloodlust, pure and simple. They hurt us, so we're going to send a message to them that they can't do that! Messages sent in violence DON'T FUCKING WORK. Guess what, yesterday was a message sent in violence... has anyone really gotten the message? All I'm seeing is a reactive response of fuck you in return. This is not a statement of support for the message sent, which I believe is "You are not safe"... it's a statement that violence solves nothing.

A banner made that could be used to be a remembrance, is instead labeled "In memory, keep on your site until JUSTICE is served!"

What justice is served by turning around and killing more people? That's not justice, it's anger and bloodlust. It's revenge. In response to someone else saying similar to me they were asked, "What would you do if someone killed your family?". I'll answer that.

I'd kill them. But I wouldn't delude myself into thinking that my killing someone in response to hurting or killing my family was Justice. It would be a deliberate act of rage and hate. It would be all about making ME feel better. Selfishness, pure and fucking simple. My family would still be dead, and I would most likely be violating their wishes for me to live on and have the life denied to them. *sighs*

There is no healing in calling for revenge, in feeding hate, in letting the rage grow. The healing lies within doing things that are safe and healthy. Ask me how I fucking know this, if you want refute that statement. PTSD doesn't just affect people in huge tragedies like yesterday's, it happens in the little lives too. Instead of calling for more death, go hug your kids, make some soap, read a book, take a walk, go out for dinner, give blood, be normal. The world is NOT normal anymore, and it never will be the same again... but please don't add to the chaos.