I just finished reading Obsession by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker. It's a book about sexual predators (killers, rapists and stalkers). It's weird, it seems like everything is focusing in on sex crimes lately for me. *sighs* That sounds funny. hrm. I guess I mean more that it's as if life is pointing out stuff that I normally ignore.

Like my door. I, a smoker, live in a non-smoking household... so I go outside to smoke. I've been unlocking the door in the mornings and then locking it again when I go to bed (If I remember!). So What? Well after reading about a number of murders and rapes that have happened inside the woman's home... I've come to the realization that just leaving a door unlocked to save maybe 10 seconds is plain stupid.

Add into that that with the ownership of PtF, I now have my address easily accessible to anyone who knows how to find it. I also run a webcam, with a link on it to PtF. Do I sound paranoid? I think I do, but... which is better? A little paranoia and increased personal safety or looking cool and collected and leave myself open to something bad?

It's the mentality of "Not me, won't happen to me." that I find myself in most of the time. What's sick about that is that it HAS happened to me. I KNOW what it's like to be raped. I know what it's like to be beaten and left for dead. I live everyday with the echoes of those acts, echoes that touch everything in my life. Yet, I still think, "It won't happen to me." But it has and it can. So it's time I started making sure my personal risk level is at a more acceptable level.

*sighs* Speaking of past acts... I'm reminded of a post made on one of the Forums I frequent. Essentially the poster was annoyed at the usage of the term 'Survivor' in the context of abuse or rape. *THAT* attitude is something that makes me foam at the mouth. I've seen the people who remained victims and were unable to make the transition to survivor. I've worked really hard for my ability to say that I am a survivor. I've survived by any way I could situations that ripped away my sense of self, sense of trust, sense of my right to live.

*sighs*