Tired, Cranky, irritable. That's me today, and for most of the weekend. Slightly disassociated, definitely fucked up and out of my depth again. That means it's becoming time to slow down and chill out. I think what's been overwhelming me is our upcoming move *knocks on wood*, the site and all *that* entails, and just the simple day to day work of being me.

Speaking of the move, we're looking at an apartment tomorrow evening. It sounds fabulous: 1000 square feet, 1 bedroom, 19' balcony, $665 inclusive. Plus after looking up the address, it's close to 2 supermarkets and close to a bus route that goes right by the University of Waterloo. Sounds good to me... sounds good to Mike... so we'll see what tomorrow holds.

I hate moving. *HATE* it. But I hate doing an apartment search more. This is why Mike gets to do it. I'm the one that does the paper search, he gets to call, we go and view together. Works for me. I really don't feel capable to interact with strangers right now. Heh. Ghosts of my past, right there. People-fear.

That's a nice signpost telling me to slow the hell down and take better care of myself. *sighs* I'm tired. Really tired. And not the nice type of tired that a good night's sleep can take care of. The tired that comes from deep down, the type of tired that comes from years spent trying, and trying again and not seeing the gains. I'm starting to see gains, I really am. But why am I still so tired then?

I dunno.

There's a topic I want to start in Mending Wings tonight, if I can clarify my thoughts a bit better. Cliques. How they affect people, so on and so forth. I've been thinking more about this lately since I ran across a young woman's journal entry on the subject. She's now on my list of people I want to email and ask for submissions and/or patronage of PtF.

Bah.