Dreams, hope, loss, fear, strength, happiness. This entire site is my dream, and it's here now. It's amazing to see and virtually touch the dream that for the longest time lived in my head. It's also really scary. The ideas have come from my life, my world, my hopes and fears. That means it's so intertwined with me and who I see myself as. There's a lot of "What If?"s now. what if it doesn't take off? What if people just don't understand what I'm trying to achieve? What if my host goes under and the world explodes? * grins *

I wonder if by putting the journals into specifically themed sections I'm putting the people that write them into nice, neat little boxes. You know, "you fit HERE, you STAY there!" kind of thing. There was no way to really show what I believe is the process that people go through in becoming themselves. that we all go from broken wings to touching the sky and back again. it's a cycle not a linear path. Granted, that's the way my life has taken. my journey. Circles and spirals. And my way is not always the same as anyone else's. The PtF journallers are beautiful, strong women. and I doubt they'd let me pigeonhole them anyway.

I'm doing my best, and that's all I or anyone else can ask. Trying is part of it all. Sometimes I fuck up. but I have to keep my eyes, heart and mind open for the times that I do good. I'm doing good here. I really am. As Mike said to me, "if you help ONE person with the site, one. then it's all worth it." Funny thing is, I've already helped that one person. Me. I've shown myself, and my inner demons that I can make a dream happen.

So. To finish off this first journal in my dream site, I have to thank the people that got me here.

Kudos to:

Mike P, my fiancé, my perl god, my best friend. Thank you for not blinking when I said "That's IT I'm registering the damn site, and making this thing happen! NOW!". Thank you for listening to me rant, and for all the missed date nights because I had to work on "one last thing".

Gayle, my designer, my (soon to be slumberparty) friend! Thank you for your fabulous design, and your pure generosity of spirit. You took my haphazard notes and thoughts and made them visual.

Mike G & Richard H, my boys, my brainstorming partners, my 'in' at compar. Thank you for always being there to listen, to help, to support. 30 hits! HA!

Terri, Alison, Pookie, my contributors to this dream. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and with the world. Wanna be my friends? Not that you aren't already, but the other kind, you know, lots of talking and sharing kind.

My Sistera, my sister. Thank you for being a shit right now. I love you so very much, and I miss you. But I'm in some weird way glad that you're disappointed in me. Makes me really want to ensure that * I * am not disappointed in me.

Audra, Boss lady of Marigold and Chicks With Antlers, and my point of reference. Thank you for creating sites that I admire and frequent. Thank you for giving me a direction I wanted to take with my vague ideas, even tho you may not have known that you were.

Finally, THANK YOU ALL who read this, read the site, post on the boards. thank you for helping make this real.

Linda.