I actually got a fair amount of tiding done yesterday. I potted the rest of my plants for this summer's porch garden, then swept up the mess from that and organized the chairs. Now that I don't smoke anymore, there's no smoking inside for my guests. So the porch needs to be a reasonably nice place to sit and visit. I should remember to someday write an entry about quitting. I did it all 'wrong' but somehow I'm quit and know all the way to the bottom of my soul that I am an Ex-Smoker.

So, I have 15 minutes until Mom comes to pick me up. I realized this morning that I didn't feel complete with the presents Mike and I are giving to Sara. I know I'm spoiling her rotten, but as I said in chat this morning, she's an only child of a mother with poverty issues.

I grew up fairly poor, and it's interesting to see how it's touched every part of my adult life. I've only been above the poverty line for a couple years now, and I'm just now getting used to having money. One of the best parts about it is being able to give to Sarabeth what I couldn't get when I was her age. I refuse to buy her toys or candy crap, she knows this and accepts it. In exchange she gets a fairly generous allowance each weekend she's here with us so she can buy her own toys and candy crap. :)

There's enough people in her life willing to give her another barbie that I feel it's a waste of money and time to try to match that. So I give her things like new clothes, science kits, music, books and anything else that doesn't fall under the toys & candy crap heading.

I think the thing I wish I had gotten the most is new clothes. I had a lot of new to me clothes, or handmade clothes. More than anything I always wanted clothes the same as my classmates had, from Sears, or the Bay, or Zellers, or... but we couldn't afford that. I understand it now, but at the time all I knew was that I was different and poor. So to give Sara a new outfit for her birthday, for Christmas and a massive new clothes trip for Back to School is a gift to myself.

I've been realizing lately that the kids I thought were 'rich' when I was in school, really weren't. (With the exception of the girl that was given a miata for her 16th birthday. Hah!) Most of them probally had parents that had ok jobs, enough to buy a house and meet the needs of their children without the excess I used to imagine.

I think the perspective comes from being in an income bracket that was beyond my imaginings not 4 years ago.

Many hours later...

Ooops, forgot I had an entry going. Posting now. :)