A thirty minute free write, something I haven't done in almost 2 weeks now. It's funny, I spent so much time setting up the new PtF and I walk away from it like usual. Ahh well. I've been busy, somewhat. I'm not one of the people I admire who can sit down and write these amazing, long entries each day, full of thought and insight. I find that unless I get to it first thing in the morning, I won't. Especially if I'm writing something more than a quick "check this out!" entry.

Life's been full this past while. I've been adjusting to the new life of mine. Having Sara 90% of the time changes so much. It puts a schedule there that we never had before. We eat at a certain time, there are things that have to be done by 8pm, and after 9pm it's my time. Time I fill with various bad TV. Like Paradise Hotel. Pure crap, but I love it. On twice a week and it fills my desire for serial, frequent garbage television.

The new TV season is starting up this week with Survivor tonight. I'm looking forward to watching a Survivor from the start. I can't remember if I started at the beginning of the very first one with MG when I lived with them. That reminds me, I should give the boys a call. I'll put it on the To-Do list.

I've been living off my To-Do list again. It makes my life a lot simpler. Each day gets broken down into tasks I want/need to do and I erase them as I complete them. Nice and clear and simple, a great way to feel like I actually achieve something in my day-to-day life. Lately I've been working on SW and getting that back on track. I've made a couple batches of Soap so far. Pumpkin Spice, Tea Tree & Clay and Night Sky. The Pumpkin sold like crazy last year, I wonder if I can make it sell the same way this year.

I wish I could get back into chatting and posting on boards. It's great advertising and inexpensive promotion of my business and myself. I just don't have the patience. I read the judgements and the labels and the general viciousness that is out there and I don't want to play in that particular sandbox. I prefer my very quiet, insular life. But being quiet and insular has murdered my business. You can't be an online small business without being personal, I don't think. Ahh well.

There's a new Kitchener Market opening within the next year, I think. I want to find out about it and seriously look at it as an option for SW. I need a physical storefront, I think. I can't afford it though. So who knows? Take it as it comes, and right now I need to make stock so I have something to sell when I re-open after the sale. The sale is planned for October. The entire month with all old stock clearing out at 50% off. I was considering taking it down to $2 a bar, but the US prices would be way too scary low then.

I took down the entire tutorial a while ago. Instead of the standard demanding emails I've been getting for the past 2 years (Make me a tutorial for WordPerfect!) I started getting I'm SPECIAL! Emails. People that wanted me to email them my tutorial because they really really needed it. Fuck me. Since I put the damn thing up for the soaper community I was part of I've received hundreds of emails and maybe 10% was a thank you for my work. The rest were people that believed that if something was offered free it somehow equalled a willingness to work more to give 'Special them' what they need. Uh, yeah.

I think I've just become tired and jaded really. I look back at how much I would write and share and do just because, and I realize why I ended up being so tired all the time. So so busy selling myself cheap to everyone but myself. And now I'm not doing that. I do my stuff on my terms and timing and it feels pretty good. I've been getting my teeth taken care of, going to physio and simply putting my life first. Part of that is I'm becoming even more rigid than I used to be. I've lost a lot of my spontaneity. But I'm gaining stability. Even trade, I think.

You can see it too, actually. If you look at my home it's tidy and easy now. Not the insane chaos it used to be all the time. I can do my "30 min Tidy" and be comfortable about a stranger coming into my home. My garden looks like shit and needs to be cut down but that's waiting for first frost. There's a nest of paper wasps out there and I don't want to disturb them. Getting stung is not my idea of fun.

At some point I want to make the pillows I've been planning for months now. I bought this gorgeous fabric to use as a starting point and it's been hiding away in my linen closet while I planned on buying a sewing machine. I should just go buy one and be done with it. Heh.

So many things, getting them done one at a time. I have all these plans for our place over the next couple years. I want floor plants and a new TV stand. I want new curtains or maybe dye the ones we bought. I did half the window in our bedroom yesterday with that cheap fake stained glass. It looks cheapo and fake but it gives me the privacy and the light I wanted without the curtains I hate.

And that's 30 minutes.