I keep meaning to sit down and write out a journal entry about the past couple weeks, but I just haven’t. Out of the habit I guess. Whole bunch of things on my mind lately. There’s excitement about Mormallor, my new iBook. (on which I am currently typing as well…) I’m also completely done my very first term of university.

That’s the big one for me at the moment. Love the laptop, but really the only reason I bought him was to use at school. In the last week of school I borrowed Mike’s powerbook to test out a suspicion I had that if I was typing I’d be able to take better notes. And whatduah know? I was right. It’ll just take a while for me to get used to the new keyboard and the massive caps lock key. The idea of having mobility with my computer goodness is a bit of a thrill. And expensive thrill but what can you do? Sucker needs to last me about 5, if not 6 years and I won’t get that by buying cheap.

I had exams last week. Only the two of them, but they were so drastically different from each other. The Med Studies, much like the course itself, was ridiculously easy. I didn’t walk out with 100% or anything, but I have no fear that I’ll be losing my solid A there. It almost feels like cheating to get a good mark in a mismanaged overview course when I wasn’t even really trying by the end. I had a mini-rebellion and ended up handing in my final set of mini-essays late. I just had no desire to do good work for a course that felt given up on, at least from my vantage point.

My History exam was a completely different matter. My first exposure to the “cattle” type handling of students. About 400 if not more of us all in the gymnasium, split up by class types… that meant I was in between a group of French students cheating their asses off at the start of the exam. I was so very temped to be the busybody bitch and tell them to stop fucking cheating like a bunch of morons. What were they doing you ask? Well apparently there was a vocabulary section and one of the four was reading her exam, the other was noticing the words they didn’t know and hollering over to the guy to my right “hey, what is a dance club? How do you spell that?” *shakes head* Apparently the concept of “they will FAIL you and possibly expel you for cheating” was too complex for the braintrusts.

I definitely wasn’t ready to the level I wanted to be ready for my exam. I think I nailed most of what I needed to get to get a decent mark, but I was missing the little details that would’ve made it an excellent exam. That’s my entire fault though. I knew what I needed to do to really excel in the course and I dropped the ball about mid term. I was having a hard time adjusting to my new world, and I know why I did it, but it doesn’t take away from the simple fact that I dropped the ball. And with that comment I’m one of the people I despised in high school. I will be *very* shocked if I don’t walk out with an A in Med Studies and at least a solid B in History and yet I’m bitching that it’s not good enough.

I think part of that has to be coming from my sense of this being a second chance to do this right, you know? I’m very smart. I learn very, very quickly. So the fact that I barely graduated High School is a thorn in my side while I’m also very proud of that fact at the same time. I feel that this is my time to show just how brilliant I am, and not just in ways that I see it. Anyways, I know what I did right and what I didn’t and next term is a whole new ballgame to play.