A bit of time before class starts. I had intended to spend this morning doing laundry and finishing up my homework that’s due tomorrow. Nothing is ever that simple, eh? Got downstairs, loaded the washers, dumped the detergent in and put the coins in… on one of the washers in the room. The other was jammed. Ended up taking all 6 loads of neglect, er laundry, to the Laundromat. Finally got home again at noon, spent a bit of time putting clothes away and getting my bag ready for school before heading out again.

So here I am. I figure I’ll sit in lecture, take notes and then work on my mini paper and my portfolio entries afterwards. One of the downfalls of going home to work on it is my desk is an unholy disaster area. One of the benefits of working at school is the work area is always clear. Granted the noise of the other people wouldn’t be a plus… nah, I’ll stay.

I’m so very tired today and I don’t even really have a good reason why. I did manage to get some decent sleep last night, finally. I’m really looking forward to this weekend. Mike and my 5th anniversary is tomorrow and to celebrate we’re going to Ottawa to geek out on the museums. We’re leaving right after class on Thursday and driving there. Hopefully well get in before 11pm. I also want to check out some of the bead stores there.

I think part of what’s been getting to me is how much I feel like I’m not meeting expectations. My own, of course. The dishes aren’t done, laundry piled up, I’m doing my homework the day before it’s due, we’re not having much in the way of decent meals, I keep eating out, I don’t make it to the gym, I spend no time with my friends, etc, etc, etc. I know intellectually that it’s going to take a good amount of time to adjust and figure out what my new routines look like. And I’ve been making an effort. So I need to cut myself some slack and just take it as it comes.

Easier said than done, as always. I’m still just as tired as I was 10 minutes ago with just as much stuff on my plate that needs to be done. I think it’s in part because things don’t go the way they’re supposed to. I make plans and then some random fuck up happens and suddenly there’s no time left to do my plans. See: laundry this morning. I got nothing done on my assignment yet today because of that. Granted I could’ve only done one load and patch fixed the lack of clothes once again.

There’s has to be some way to balance the day to day running of my life and being a student. It can just be a straightforward time from one is taken from the other. Plus what the hell am I going to do when I go full time? My workload will at minimum double, my class hours will do the same, and I’ll need to make dedicated time from each day to keep on top of it all.

I guess I expected to be able to adjust and just go. Not quite that easy. *sighs* Someday I’ll stop posting and bitching about this all. Maybe? Please? Oi.

Not sure hat to write about today. Visited my fabulous chiropractor this morning and my back feels great, this feeling alone is worth the $25 per visit I pay. I have some things to work on, but nothing pressing. I need to work on the “research questions” this weekend, but it’s not going to be a big deal. I have a number of good books to use for my references, and again, it’s a far too simplistic question to answer. I can’t wait to be out of this class.

That sounds so horrible, but I just can’t stand how it’s so haphazard. Add in the sarcastic behaviour of my prof as she responds to the justifiably confused questions of my classmates and I’m just stewing in annoyance. It feels very much like she feels that it’s somehow *our* fault that we’re not getting it right. Which… this is not high school, this is not mandatory, I *pay* for this experience. I’m here to learn and be taught, not watch the people that are supposed to be teaching me act like prats.

It’s funny how the focus comes upon the bad experiences. My history prof is great; I had a fabulous interaction with the undergraduate advisor for the history department; as a professor my cousin is fun, interesting and aware; I’m learning about who to avoid and how to interact in this setting. I haven’t yet told my good news to here and it’s been a week now.

Last week, I think… I decided to nail down exactly what’s involved in this whole “adult student” thing. At the moment I’m restricted to 1.0 credit per term, if I fail a course I am expelled from Laurier, and I’m being “assessed”. I wanted to know what I have to do to come off the Academic Probation and become a proper part-time student, and then move into full time studies. I know that if I attain a mark of C- in 4.0 credits I’ll be allowed to stay enrolled and if I attain a mark of C- in 4.0 credits I will be allowed to apply for full-time studies. The other benchmark is an average of B in 2.0 credits to apply to go to full-time.

Now that I write that out, it’s obvious to me that the AP ends at C- in 4.0, so basically a full year (not academic, a full 12 months year) at just squeaking by. But if you’re a better student than that, which I am, you can bypass the assessment and AP at 2.0 credits at a B by going into full-time studies. It looks straight forward now, but I was massively confused.

So I went in and spoke to the *cough* ladies at the registrar’s office. I remained confused, at which point they shooed me off to the History department since they’re “not here for academic counseling”, gee thanks. Scupper you too. At the History department I get it sort of explained to me by the department’s admin assistant. Then she herds me over to the office of the Undergraduate Advisor so he can explain to me the new layout for the Honours History program.

As we chat, he asks me about my situation and my grades to date. After which he says that he feels that if I’m getting the grades I am (84.1%, baby!) there’s no reason for me to be locked into the AP for another term at the minimum. He thinks he might be able to help me move into full-time as of next *term*. He wants to see what my grade is on my first history essay, which is being marked at the moment, and based on that will start moving on it.

Even if it doesn’t happen that I can go to full-time next term, it’s still a thrill that someone in a position of authority here has agreed with me that this AP sucks. I’m grateful that I was limited to the two courses this term, it’s given me time to adjust and figure out where I’m at, but… another term limited like this would drive me nuts. I’m doing the work, I’m getting the grades and I don’t want to spend the next 6 years of my life here.

At least I finally understand what’s happening with the AP. I’ll get that B average and get the hell into full-time studies either next term or next fall. At which point I’m going to need to keep my grades up if I want to graduate with an honours degree. Blah.